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Writer's pictureRen Q

Ren's Declassified Self-Care Survival Guide



In a world that often feels hostile to trans and nonbinary people, it’s crucial to arm ourselves with tools for survival, self-care, and thriving. Whether you’re navigating personal challenges or the broader fight for rights and recognition, this guide is for you. It’s about survival—but also about embracing joy, creativity, and the beauty of being authentically yourself.


1. Please Don’t Give Up

You are loved, you are valued, and we need you here. If you're in crisis, there are people and organizations ready to help:

Warm Lines (Non-Police)

  • Blackline: 800-600-5841 (BI&POC LGBTQ+ focus)

  • Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860 (US) / 877-330-6366 (Canada)

  • Wildflower Alliance Peer Support Line: 888-407-4515

  • Thrive LifeLine: 313-662-8209 (Trans-led and operated)

  • StrongHearts Native Helpline: 844-762-8483 (Centers Indigenous voices)

Crisis Hotlines

  • Trevor Project: 877-565-8860 (chat available too)


2. Shift to Non-Screen Activities

In moments of stress, stepping away from screens can ground you. Try:

  • Crocheting or crafting

  • Journaling

  • Tidying or cleaning

  • Meditating

  • Exercising or going outside

Creativity and movement remind you of your power to shape your surroundings and your story.


3. Affirmations for Resilience

Words have power, especially when you use them to combat fear and self-doubt. Repeat these affirmations to reconnect with your strength:

  • "This feeling of panic will subside."

  • "I am resilient and can bounce back from challenges."

  • "I am worthy of peace, joy, and fulfillment, just as I am."

  • "I trust in my ability to handle whatever comes my way."

These mantras are your lifeline in moments of doubt. Speak them, write them, and live them.


4. Breathe Through It

Breathing isn’t just a life function—it’s a tool for reclaiming your body and mind. Techniques to try:

  • Box Breath: Inhale for 5, hold for 5, exhale for 5, hold for 5. Repeat.

  • Alternate Nostril Breathing: Block one nostril, exhale, inhale; switch sides.

  • 4-7-8 Breath: Inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8.

  • Pursed Lip Breathing: Inhale normally, exhale like blowing on a hot drink.

Each method is a lifeline to calmness and focus.


5. Connect with Community

No one can do it alone, and you don’t have to. Find spaces where you can laugh, share, and heal. Suggestions include:

  • LGBTQ+ community centers

  • Peer-led support groups

  • Gender-affirming yoga or meditation circles

  • Queer-owned coffee shops or bookstores

  • Art classes, writing circles, and open mics

Community is where resilience grows. It’s where you remember that you’re never alone in this fight.


6. Support Trans Artists and Activists

Creativity is revolution. Trans artists challenge outdated norms, amplify diverse voices, and foster cultural change. When you support trans creators, you’re investing in a future of understanding and compassion.

  • Join initiatives like the "Here to Pee" tour, where trans comedians (including me!) raise funds to fight anti-trans bathroom bills across all 50 states.

  • Attend shows, buy art, and share work by trans creators—it makes a real difference.


Final Words: You’re Not Alone

Life is hard, but you are harder to break. Remember, you’re part of a community of love, light, and understanding. Take care of yourself because the fight ahead needs you in it.

I love you, and everything is going to be okay.




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